The Onion
Category: Print Media [Edit]
Neighborhood: SOMA604 Mission Street
(between 2nd St & New Montgomery St)
San Francisco, CA 94105 (415) 348-9200
10 reviews
San Francisco, CA
"Everything the other Yelpers have said is true. I needed a short run for a personal project - I got very high quality printing on time and…" read more »
90 Reviews for The Onion
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho
Tee he he he he he he
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
As sung by Flipper (not the dolphin! Though he likes it too).
Oh and love that their crossword is edited by Ben Tausig, I try to do it every week. The operative word is try.
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Woot! The first time I read The Onion, I thought every article was real. Until of course I found out it was just all cleaverly written. But yes LOL and Kudos to you all!
I was a last hold out, choosing to never even visit their website. I had always thought that readers/fans of The Onion were pretentious. I apologize and hope you forgive me. I was wrong.
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Sometimes, I just can't handle the truth.
My favorite Onion article was when the iphone came out. We all got a chuckle on that one.
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I pick this up when I need a break from the real news. Oh. It is real!! But deadly funny too.
Hilarious. Check out the videos they put out on line:
www.theonion.com/conte...
"Bring your daughter to war day"
"Bullshit is most important issue for 2008 voters"
"FCC okays nudity on TV if it is Alyson Harrington"
"Press Secretary spins wife's tragic death as a positive"
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This publication literally makes me LOL and grin like a fool whenever I have a read of their paper. They have the most hilarious sh*t in there that it's ridiculous that they're able to put out such good stuff on a weekly basis.
Favorite article so far:
http://www.theonion.co...
I can't get enough of The Onion!!! It matches my type of humor to the T and always makes my Thursdays. =)
p.s. Their website rocks too! Like Bob G. says- check out their video clips!
Best.printed.stuff.ever.
That's all you need to know.
And if you actually believe any of it (except for AV), then you should look in the dictionary for "gullible" as your photo would be next to it.
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Turns out the Onion isn't real news and information. They led me to near bankruptcy and total humiliation, when I invested in Balco back in 2004. I can't believe they'd have such wide publication for faux news. Lesson learned and working to rebuild my portfolio once again.
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HOLY CRAP!
I LOVE The Onion, but I had no idea we had a branch out here!
My introduction to The Onion came from none other than Al Lohman of Lohman and Barkley fame. Gave me "Our Dumb Century" about ten years ago. Been hooked since.
I'm sorry, but satire just doesn't get any funnier.
Well, except maybe for the McNeil-Lehrer hour.
That IS satire, right?
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How do you keep coming up with such crazy stuff? I f-ing love you. You sickos who write the horoscopes....keep up the good work.
Dear Sparkles:
You are the only one who does not like The Onion. But we love you anyway, with all of your faults.
Love and kisses,
Shaun Landry.
Now.
For me not to give The Onion Newspaper San Francisco anything but five stars after everything they have done for me here is just plain ass *rude* No. I mean plain ass rude.
It is pretty much like dissing your mom onstage when you know good and well the woman bailed you out for getting into a street brawl on meth and feeding you Chicken soup to come down and saying "I still think you could be president of The United States'
It is pretty much like burning down the house that your roomie let you stay in free of charge for six months to get over your meth habit.
It is pretty much like shooting your meth dealer in the head for giving you extra meth.
It is just rude.
The paper has cracked me up consistently ever since I lived in Chicago, and continues to do so now. When you are featured in The Aristocrats? You have made it in the world of comedy. That is respect, yo. When a newspaper entity is "Let in on the joke"
You Want A Piece Of Me? - by a pie
Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?
Robin Williams Still Missing After Three-Day Free-Association Binge
That ladies and Gentlemen, is just funny to me.
Long live The Onion.
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A nice way to start the day. Unfortunately, sometimes the boss doesn't appreciate my knowledge on the daily news from the onion. Oh well, it comes in handy when I have debates with my serious friends.
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The News as the media chooses to feed us:
"Boxer, Feinstein have yet to reveal where they stand on farm bill"
"FCC may end exclusive cable contracts for apartment-complex owners"
"Iran Miliary Chief Compares Any U.S. Attack to Iraq 'Quaqmire'"
"Bush Emphasizes Vigilance in War on Terror Speech"
"Hilary Swank Lets Oprah Cut Her Hair on TV for Charity"
The News as we know it really to be:
"Archaeologist Tired Of Unearthing Unspeakable Ancient Evils"
"New Nietzschean Diet Lets You Eat Whatever You Fear Most"
"Price Of Nuclear Secrets Plummeting"
"New Study Finds College Binge Drinking To Be A Blast"
"Fed Chief Announces Lowering Of Interest In Fed Chief's Wife"
The Onion. Is. Awesome.
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Always guaranteed to make me laugh if not most of the time bust up completely. This is what LIFE is all about. You take shit too seriously, that's it. The stress and nerves kill you.
When I die, I hope I'm laughing. I wouldn't mind dying on the can like Elvis, as long as I was reading The Onion at the time.
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Solid humor. Anyone who doesn't enjoy it on a weekly basis need therapy.
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I have been reading the Onion since 1994 in Boulder, CO. It has been an amazing part of my adulthood.. for almost 15 years! I also have about 200 back copies from Boulder circa 1994-2000... mostly from the earlier years.
whatever the case, I haven't the foggiest as to why anyone would be pretentious enough to rate this less than 5 stars... they have redefined how we take in media, lampooning, sarcasm and it is how most intelligent people get the news.
The least intelligent watch Fox News.
http://thinkprogress.o...
Whatever the case,,, thanks guys. It is amazing what you've done!!!
IF ANYONE WANTS TO MAKE AN OFFER ON A HUGE BOX OF OLD PAPER ONIONS, LET ME KNOW... make it creative. Not money. How about something fun or furry for burning man?
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I have to say, they have the best personal ads. Anything having to do with dating is funion.
Update: I've actually gone out on 2 dates with a guy I met on the onion personals... seems promising.
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"Butterfly F*ck Swing Filled With Junk Mail"...
You got to love The Onion as much as I do.
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Pretty much the greatest thing I ever discovered on the Internet. Before they came to SF, we loved it so much that my apartment subscribed to the print edition. Now that it's available for free, some of the mystique of the print edition is gone, but it's more than made up for by its useful local section. Somehow they've got the best event listings in SF, even though they've only been in town for a short time. They also put on a ton of events, many if not all featuring free beer.
My favorite thing about The Onion is the articles that are funny, but tinged with existential despair. For example:
Man Ashamed Of Own Joy Upon Receiving New Mop Head:
http://www.theonion.co...
Just beautiful.
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Love it! How psyched was I when I moved to SF and found out the Onion wasn't just online! I think that the print version is even better. Only problem with the Onion is that it only comes out once a week.
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Whenever I need a pick-me-up, a simple Onion headline can easily place a grin on my face.
Literally too many good ones to list, and they just keep coming each week, and all the time online.
They are, indeed, the finest news source in America.
ps: av club RULES
I personally like the ads. Crack team of sales folks they have over there.
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The Onion, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways:
1. Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare of Peace and Prosperity is Finally Over'--1/17/01
2. President Creates Cabinet-Level Position to Coordinate Scandals--2/1/06
3. Voice of God Revealed to Be Cheney on Intercom--12/7/05
4. Bush's Approval Rating of Other Americans Also at All-Time Low--9/28/05
5. Bush Vows to Wipe Out Prescription-Drug Addiction Among Seniors
6. Bush Addresses 8.2 Million Unemployed: 'Get A Job'
And that's only on the front page of the 1/4/07 issue, "Six Years of George W. Bush: A Celebration of Courage".
The Onion, how do I love thee? Apparently, in ways that are far too numerous to count.
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Probably more of the better news I have read lately. It amuses me how many ways they can come up with a decent bush joke.
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Used to really dig the Onion... And I still keep "Our Dumb Century" next to the crapper... but like everything else that lives in San Francisco, it's completely lost touch with the rest of the nation... or world... Maybe if they transplanted to Omaha or something they might get grounded enough to be funny to the everyman again. Instead it has become corrupted by its own self-importance. LIke any SF denizen it assumes every other person in the world wriggles in orgasmic delight whilst making the funny about our dumb president. Pick a new poster boy... I'm tired of it... I'm going to drive into SF tonight and punch the first guy I see playing hacky sack whilst bitching about evil republicans and smelling his own farts.
Yeah... that's it... (thanks South Park...) The Onion has become enraptured with the stench of its own farts.
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I have been reading the Onion since 1994 in Boulder, CO. It has been an amazing part of my adulthood.. for almost 15 years! I also have about 200 back copies from Boulder circa 1994-2000... mostly from the earlier years.
whatever the case, I haven't the foggiest as to why anyone would be pretentious enough to rate this less than 5 stars... they have redefined how we take in media, lampooning, sarcasm and it is how most intelligent people get the news.
The least intelligent watch Fox News.
http://thinkprogress.o...
Whatever the case,,, thanks guys. It is amazing what you've done!!!
IF ANYONE WANTS TO MAKE AN OFFER ON A HUGE BOX OF OLD PAPER ONIONS, LET ME KNOW... make it creative. Not money. How about something fun or furry for burning man?
I love the Onion! It's hard to find a copy in downtown Berkeley though. Some people my age who either think they are more PC or classier don't even like the Onion--what's with that??
My favorite article was the one a few years ago with the photo of a forlorn guy, " Man With Friend With Cancer Going Through a Tough Time."
"Three months ago, Mark Sennis received the news that everyone dreads: Ben Murphy, a friend and coworker with whom he 'occasionally went out to lunch." had been diagnosed with cancer."
I was going through cancer treatment at the time and needed all the laughs I could get.
"You never think you're going to be the one," Sennis said. "At first, I remember thinking, 'How can this be happening to me? What have I done to deserve to have a friend with cancer?' "
That article has hooked me forever. The fact that some ultra PC people dislike it makes me love it even more!
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Always funny always silly....and always perfect for reading on the 38 bus on your way home from work
Duh - it's the Onion. Why am I even reviewing this? You know it. You love it. You read it and spew milk (or beer, or some other, more disgusting liquid) out your nose when you hit a great headline.
Some weeks are better than others, it's true. And, as with any regular source of humor, it can really feel forced and trite at times. There are weeks when I barely even chuckle.
But it also beams a light on the zeitgeist that most pollsters could never hope to achieve. And, frankly, it seems to reveal the hidden truth more often than a lot of so-called "legitimate" media outlets. As an indictment of the corpse of contemporary journalism, it would be sad...if it didn't make you spew milk (or beer, or some other, more disgusting liquid) out your nose.
I give it only 4 stars because the AV Club ain't such great shakes. As if we needed yet another publication to tell us that effete indie retro-rock is apparently the only music worth listening to. The amount of crossover coverage between the Onion, SFBG, SF Weekly, and SF Chronicle is disgusting. Just about every music writer in this city should be ashamed. Instead of previewing underground acts --- and thus informing the readership about entire demographics' worth of new music every week --- we get the same tired comments about the same tired, overexposed hipster bands. Lazy and weak, people. Lazy and weak.
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ahhh you get me through many a'boring day at work with your colorfull stories and insite. I mean can one really get enough of your wittyness? Keep em coming and ill keep reading...
am i the only one who doesn't like the onion.
please no hate mail but i just don't get the point. i don't think it's funny.
and i like funny things but this one just bugs me. and what bugs me more is when people send me article headlines from the onion - then say "isn't this funny?"
hello. no. i think it's stupid!
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Area Man Writes Review of The Onion on the Internet
Beau G., a San Francisco resident, recently embarked on plan to write a review of The Onion on Yelp, a popular local website. "I'm really excited about this opportunity" Mr G. said, "There's a lot of material here for self-referential humor and innuendo." Mr G. explained further that he hoped many people would tag this review as "Cool" or "Funny", but if necessarily "Useful". "I don't really aim for the useful reviews and I'm usually drunk when I write anyway" he said. "I've got a interesting concept for this one. What if I write a review in the form of an Onion article? That would totally blow everyone's mind."
Yes, it would, but only if he did a good job of it.
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The Onion just rocks. No question about it. They manage to make even the most mundane of topics relevant and interesting with the incisive writing. And if you haven't been to one of The Onion's events, you're missing out--they do a great party! Went to the party of Broken Resolutions last night at the Independent. It was almost like a variety show-DJ, magician, comedian Ali Wong (she's so adorable), and three distinct bands: local favs The Lovemakers, Persephone's Bees, and Chow Nasty. Every act was pretty cool except Chow Nasty; they're got to be one of the weirdest and strangest bands I've seen and most of their shtick was done in bad taste. Nonetheless I still had a great time. I also had VIP access and enjoyed very good finger foods from Triptych and awesome view.
And hooray for the Independent! One of the best live music venues in the city. Management: is there a way to create another stall in the women's bathroom? The ladies will thank you!
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Cool concept when it started up way back when, but the gimmick isn't enough to sustain a weekly paper. Kinda somewhere between Adbusters and Mad Magazine.
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Clinton Goes Back In Time, Teams Up With Golden-Age Clinton
..I don't know if anything has ever made me laugh more. Maybe the campfire scene from Blazing Saddles. But this review isn't about the funny stuff in The Onion.
Has anyone taken a look at the Arts & Entertainment sections of the Weekly or Guardian lately? The Onion AV Club craps all over both. Technically the SFBG and the Weekly are both homegrown papers (though the Weekly is owned by New Times), and I believe this should give them an insight to better reflect The City. The Onion moves into town and has a better understanding of Bay Area interests and a higher quality of writers within two years? Very strange.
Until recently I'd read the Guardian and the Weekly mainly for the nightlife stuff. Now I get even that from the comedy newspaper. Take away Savage Love and Free Will Astrology and all you're left with is tragedy.
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HAHAHAHA LOL. This made to look like a real thing paper contains some of the most genious ariticles...they can be knee-slapping, floor rolling, tear-jerking funny. They write the ariticles with such seriousness and across a broad spectrum of issues from people to business to science with equally funny pictures to complement. Love it! Try not to read the ones that will get you into a convulsive laughter in public, but then you can always try to hide it with the paper. HAHAHA
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Dear Onion,
You are my inspiration; what keeps me going through the week. My companion of satire, my most reliable news source, my unwavering friend. Keep doing what you do.
Love, Christine
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With articles like 'Mariachi Band Has No Idea Your Mother Just Died' and Op-Ed pieces entitled 'Who's A Girl Gotta F#@k To Get Some Closure On Her Relationship With Her Father?' how can you go wrong?
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